When I posted my "Mommy Docket", I pointed out that there is a box on there specifically for "me" time.  To some, having time to yourself seems like a no-brainer.  You need to recharge...reenergize...unwind...decompress...whatever word you want to put in that blank.  

However, I found that once I had Stephen, finding "me" time or even making it into a priority was difficult for 2 reasons.
1) There is ALWAYS something that needs to be done.  I'm a stay at home mom, a full time grad student, volunteer, blogger, and freelance book reviewer.  I'm also a wife.  Go back and count that up.  That is six titles.  SIX.  There are 24 hours in the day and at least 7 of those have to go to sleep (preferably without interruption but that's pretty much up to Stephen).  I have a lot on my plate and yes, I do realize that most of that is by choice.  I don't have to freelance.  I don't have to keep this blog.  And I don't have to volunteer.  Technically, I don't have to go to school either but if I want to have a career, then I sort of have to.  

2) I have found that not fulfilling x, y, and z duties under any one of those titles has led me to feel a bit like a failure.  I think as moms (and I'm not saying the dudes can't feel this way...just can't speak on behalf of them because I don't know what it's like to be a man) it is very easy for us to get caught up in everything that we have to do.  Women, in general, seem to worry and stress more about things to do.  And what's worse is the mommy guilt.  Oh the guilt!  I was talking to a friend of mine the other day that realized she is angry about some things that have happened recently but hasn't processed any of it because she felt guilty about being angry!  We try to live up to this June Cleaver view of motherhood and let's face it...it ain't happening. 

Just because we aren't June Cleaver doesn't mean that we aren't good moms.

And that's what I've been trying to tell myself.  

So what do I do for "me" time?  There is really a variety of things on my "me" time list.  I can tell you what's not on it.  

TV.

I used to love to veg out in front of the TV.  LOVE IT.  I could do it for hours.  But now, I find television almost obnoxious.  Don't get me wrong.  There are a few shows I'm devoted to (Bones anyone?) and I watch them without fail (Zooey Deschanel always makes me laugh on The New Girl).  What is it with those Deschanel girls?!  They are awesome!

Moving on...

But I can't do it anymore.  TV doesn't distract me or relax me anymore.  Especially with all the heinous trash that is on the TV now, why bother?  And yes, some of it is heinous trash.  I'm not judging anyone for watching it but let's call a spade a spade, shall we?

Rather, here's what I have found relaxes me, which lowers my cortisol levels (über important):

• crochet
• painting
• knit
• embroidery
• paper crafts
• calligraphy
• writing
• reading (for fun)
• research (yes...I'm aware that I'm the biggest nerd on the planet)
• meditating/prayer
• yoga
• working out (although to be honest, there hasn't been enough of this lately)

So, allow me to encourage you to take a little bit of "me" time today.  Whether you are a mom, student, dad, employee, CEO, monk, whatever...Take a little bit of time out of your day to just be you and revel in that for a little bit.  Lower your cortisol levels and breathe in and out.

Mommy Docket

Hmm..Maybe Mommy Docket isn't really the best title for the document.

Here's what happened.

Life got super out of control.  Juggling motherhood with a toddler and attempting to take four (that's right FOUR) grad school classes this semester has proven to be just on the other side of the crazy line.  And not the good side of it.  Eric would have simple requests for me to complete during the day time and by noon, I likely had texted or messaged him online saying "What did you ask me to do?" or "I'm sorry.  I forgot what you needed." or "Does this really have to be done today?  Because I'd much rather pull out my hair right now."  The tasks weren't even difficult.  Basic things like: do one load of laundry, unpack this one box of stuff, get dressed.  Whatever.

Fortunately, Pinterest came to the rescue in the middle of the night.  I noticed that a lot of mommy bloggers posted PDF versions of their "Mommy Docket" or "TO-DO TODAY" list.  After trying a few out over the course of a couple of weeks, I decided to make my own that makes sense for me.  Here it is:

I realize you can't really see that too well.  But let me break it down for you so that it hopefully makes some sense.  We'll go left to right, top to bottom.

The top left box is titled "Top Three".  This is where I write the three most important tasks of the day.  Usually, "Homework" is in there.  Why three?  Because I'll be honest, it's a big deal for me to get three things done in a day.  Stephen wants to play outside for about 18 hours a day which is not conducive to getting things done at all.  He also wants me to do every activity with him which is adorable, but again, not conducive to getting things done.  So I have three things on the list.  These can usually be completed during naptime or after he goes to bed at his strict bedtime of 7 pm.  It makes me feel really good when I scratch one off but when I scratch off all three?  Well, bring on the champagne!

The next box (top right) is my "Honey Do" list.  Eric usually has one thing that he'd like for me to do.  It's usually things that I already planned on addressing that day (i.e. laundry) but sometimes, he really needs a load of whites done specifically.  This is where I write those little notes down.  

There is also a box for appointments.  I only have space for four different appointments because time-wise I cannot afford any more in one day.  But we never have that many appointments in one day anyway.

Errands.  That sort of speaks for itself but seriously, sometimes, I cannot remember that I need to go out and buy a gallon of milk even if I've opened the fridge four times that day to find that we don't have any.  


Calls to make list.  This is UBER importante for me.  I can NEVER NEVER remember who I am supposed to call (that explains why I haven't called you right?).  

"Dinner prep" is the box that I write the dinner menu in.  Also, if it's more complicated than protein-rice-salad, I'll add notes to myself like "Begin marinade at 4" so that I can remember to do specific tasks at certain times.  

"All About Me" is a section that is there specifically to remind me to take care of myself.  Honestly, I am TERRIBLE about taking care of myself.  HORRIBLE.  DOWN RIGHT STINKING BAD AT IT.  Add a baby and grad school into the mix and it's a cluster of ... poo.  That's the nice way to say it.  I'm working really hard at correcting this though and part of this endeavor is taking 30 minutes a day for just me.  But there will be a post in the near future to elaborate on this.  

Like the starburst???

Finally, "Weekly Goals" are super important to me.  I find that if I see the larger goals that need to be done by the end of the week, I can remember to work on them little by little.  This can be a big paper for school (which I've recently completely two of) or this can be a project in the house.  It's always different.  Sometimes, the weekly goal is to workout five times in the week.  Who knows?!  

So there you go.  That's my mommy docket/to-do today list.  If you'd like a copy of it, please let me know.  I'll be happy to email you a copy of it.  FOR FREE!  What up!?  

No seriously.  It's not copyrighted or anything like that.  So it's up for grabs.


I'd also like to make a shoutout to Zamzar.com.  I used their service to convert the pdf version of that document into a jpeg.  And it was SUPER fast, SUPER easy.  Just how I like it.  Conversion, that is, you gutterheads.

Birch Box rave

I've already talked to some of my friends about this and if I've talked to you about this already, I won't be offended if you skip this post altogether.

I am emphatically in love with Birch Box.

I discovered it through one of the blogs I follow, Fantabulously Frugal (follow her now if you don't...you won't regret it).  I warn you: if you go to the blog and click on the Sample Box page, you may get swept up in it and never return.

Moving on...

Birch Box is a sample box subscription company.  For $10 a month, you receive a box in the mail with 5-6 samples.  What samples are they?  Here are a few things I've received in the last three months:

-Three organic tea samples
-Larabar sample
-Four different perfume samples
-mascara sample
-lip gloss sample
-face wash sample
-beach wave creme sample
-conditioner sample
-shampoo/conditioner sample pack
-highlighter sample
-BB cream sample
-primer sample

and more.

What's the big deal?  The big deal is really the quality of the samples you are getting. These are great companies with great products.  Granted, not all products are going to work for everyone (that's a given).  So some of the samples may not be good for you but you can pass those along to a friend as a little gift for fun.  Either way, it's a fun treat for you every month.  There are a couple of subscription options and if you choose to go on a month to month basis, you can always opt out if you want to.  If you decide you love one of the samples, just go to the site and order it!  The sample box comes with a card that describes each item and tells you the price for the full size item so you can have an idea if the item fits in your budget or not.  Yay!

If you would like to sign up, click the link below to get an invite to join:
Join Birch Box!

New Year: Post 3

As the new year begins, let's take a look back on what happened in 2011.  

• We welcomed baby Stephen into our lives in July.  (biggest highlight of the year)
• Eric got his first job as a full fledged attorney!
• I got into grad school!
• We watched our best friend, Matt, get married to beautiful Harmony.
• My beautiful friend, Charlotte, got pregnant!  WHOOT!
• I got involved with a NICU support group and have made some AWESOME friends (shout out to my ladies).
• Stephen cut his first two teeth.
• We started house hunting (yes...more on that another day).

Hope you had a rocking 2011!

New Year: Post 2

Raise your hand if you make New Year's Resolutions.


Anyone?


Fine.  You guys go ahead and be cowards and not fess up to it.


Cause I definitely do.


Of course, the real question is have I kept any of them?


No.


Well, unless you count the fact that I did quit smoking...but I think that resolution was roughly three years prior to my actual quit date.


I love making resolutions and I tend to make them on a regular basis.  Zig Ziglar (OMG...LOVE HIM) said that every day is a new day so why wait to make changes?  (that is a SERIOUS paraphrase).  It's not that I don't continue to strive towards all of these resolutions and trust me, it's usually the same ones.  


I WILL WORK OUT FIVE TIMES A WEEK.


I WILL STOP CONSUMING CAFFEINE (if you know me, you know how much this has epically failed).


I WILL NOT ALLOW OTHERS TO HAVE CONTROL OVER ME.


What can I say?  I'm a work in progress.


When New Years rolls around though, I tend to go overboard.  This year, I'm going with the minimum and I thought I would share those with you today.


1. Minimize the worry and anxiety.
I am REALLY good at worrying and REALLY good at terrifying myself with anxiety.  I have been flying on airplanes since I was about 10.  Never really had a problem with it until I saw Final Destination.  That's when the anxiety started.  After 9/11, it got worse.  It's at the peak now.  During takeoff, I have to actually focus on not losing it.  I watched the first three episodes of American Horror Story (which by the way, I feel is a complete rip off of some of the storylines from the Ametyville series...that's right...series, not movie) and began seeing that weird demon face in the dark.
Ridiculous.  Trust me, I realize just how ridiculous all of this is.
I decided I don't want to spend so much time in 2012 shaking and worrying.  I know that I won't be able to completely quit so my goal is to minimize it.


2. Teach others how to treat me.
My aunt Heather is awesome.  She said to me over the holidays that we teach others how to treat us.  Don't assume that I'm focusing on this because other people treat me badly.  I just think it's an important philosophy to follow.  So I'll just add it to my repertoire.


3. Be authentic.
This has been my focus for about 4 years now.  Striving to just be me and be comfortable with that.  


Do you have any resolutions?  If so, care to share?

New Year: Post 1

Happy New Year to you!


I realize I've been gone for a while so here's a quick update to catch you up with what's been going on.

• I got into grad school!  YAY ME!  I'll be working on a Master of Science in Library Science.  Impressive, I know.  The program starts on the 23rd and is 100% online so I get to continue to stay home with Stephen.  WHOOT!
• We spent two weeks in Louisiana.  We being Stephen and myself.  Eric had to work the week before Christmas.  
• Stephen was baptized over the break as well.  It was a beautiful ceremony and I'll be posting pictures in the near future.
• I received a Kindle for Christmas.  Don't worry...there will be a post about that coming up as well.
• I've settled down onto the new format of the blog.  There will be some changes a-coming.
• Stephen now has TWO teeth.  That's right.  The first appeared the morning after Christmas and the second appeared TWO days later.  He's been a little trooper through the entire ordeal.

Happy new year!

I'm back from sabbatical!

Sorry I was gone so long. Things got nuts for a month with the holidays, visitors and life. But with the start of the new year, it's back to the grind!

We will return to regular programming this week. In the meantime, as we travel home today, I wish you all a happy new year!

Check me out: Overcoming Obsessive Love

So, I think I've mentioned that I write book reviews for psychcentral.com. 

If not...

I write book reviews for psychcentral.com.

Wanna see?

Click here.

WHAT UP!?

Staples: Not the Store or the Office Supply

No, what I'll be discussing is kitchen staples.

I am attempting to cut our grocery bill by $100 a month.  I have a certain amount budgeted for each week.  I'm not anal about this because I know that every now and then, we'll have to go over.  But I do my best to not go over by more than $5.

Fortunately, throwing in one "new" meal a week keeps us happy.  We have a constant supply of chicken and tilapia in our freezer.  Eric LOVES the manager's special at the store which is going to be maintained a bit better now that the budget is in place.  So, we also have a stash of some pork items.

However, I've noticed that, in the past, when we've gone overboard on groceries, it's typically because we've run out of certain staples, or I want to bake/cook something special.  That got me thinking: what if I make a list of staples for the pantry and fridge and attempt to keep stock of such items?

I'm not planning on being one of those extreme couponers.  But my thought is that if I can keep an eye out for these items and buy one or two whenever they are on sale, maybe I can keep us from having these huge splurge weeks.  

Here are some lists that I've found online that I plan to use to build my own list:

Families.com: A Prepared Pantry

MealsMatter.org: Pantry Staples List

The Perfect Pantry: 23 Pantry Items

Yankee Harvest: Kitchen Staples

The Simple Dollar: Well-Stocked Kitchen

What's Cooking America: Pantry

About.com: Pantry Basics

Real Simple: Pantry Staples

Once I develop my list, I'll post it for you guys.

So Readers, what are your pantry/kitchen staples?

Precious Sleep

So, have I talked to you guys about the fact that Stephen is not a good sleeper anymore?

No?  

That's unfortunate.  Let's rectify it.

When he first came home, he did the newborn thing waking every couple of hours.  When he was about 6 weeks old, that settled down and he started sleeping for four hours straight at least once a night.  It was glorious.

Those were the good ole days.

For the last month or so, he's gone back to his newborn sleep schedule.  Keep in mind, baby boy will be FOUR MONTHS OLD on November 11.  That's right.  And he's a whopping 18.5 pounds so it's not like there's some kind of eating issue.

We have tried all kinds of things to help him sleep better.

Cluster feedings

Bedtime rituals

Rice cereal

Full tummy before bed

Napping schedule

Warmer Sleepwear

Swaddling

Nothing helps.

Except for one thing.

Sleeping on the couch with me.

So he might get a good stretch of sleep in but I have a super sore body.

I still haven't decided if it's a good deal or not.

Happy Halloween!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!

Seriously, do you know how much I love Halloween? 

Who doesn't love an opportunity to dress in a costume!?

More importantly...

Halloween is the beginning of THE season for me.

What season is that you may ask?

It's the season of THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

Get it on amazon if you don't have it already.  Which you should.

Basically, I've seen this movie an obscene amount of times.  I'm fairly certain the count is at or above 500 times at this point.  Yeah you think I'm kidding.

I'm not.

I sing the soundtrack to myself sometimes.

You're jealous and that is OoooooooooKkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

So this is the time of year that I allow myself to watch this movie as many times as I like.  Why?

If you have to ask, you haven't seen the movie and that...is...sad.

But I'm nice so here's why: the movie is based in Halloweentown.  And Jack, the king of Halloween, decides to kidnap Santa Claus and do Christmas his way.

Hence...Halloween starts the season and Christmas ends it. 

Makes sense?

No?

Tough.

It's my excuse, it makes sense to me, and I don't care if people think it's weird that I might watch the same movie 100 times before Christmas.

Nuf said.

 

BumGenius!

I have several friends who either recently got pregnant or will be giving birth soon.  Several of them have sent me messages via FB on the cloth diapers we use and what I think.

Here are the ones that we use:

from here

These are the bumGenius Elemental One-Size Cloth Diapers.

Yup.  A bit of a mouthful.

Here's where we bought ours.

We bought 12 to start out with and got several different colors.  We might be able to do with a few more but 12 isn't terrible.  When they are in the washer, dryer, or drying in the sun, we use disposable diapers.

So, what do I think?

Here's the lowdown:

• 
  Financially, I love these.  In the long run, they save us a bundle!
• They are CUTE CUTE CUTE.  Period.
• Some people (who shall remain nameless) pretty much laughed at me when I told them we were going to do cloth.  They assumed that it's a huge workload.  Is it more of a workload than disposables?  Not really.  Because I have to do laundry anyway so what's a little more to the pile?  Is it grosser?  No, not to me.  But I'm a mommy.  Poo on my face doesn't gross me out so cleaning it out of a diaper shouldn't bother me either.  However, my feelings on this may change when Stephen starts eating solids but I can't imagine it'll be enough to deter me from cloth.
• A lot of people think this would increase our energy and water bills.  And it has.  But not dramatically at all because I dry these puppies in the sun often.  Which is great because the sun bleaches them and gets out most of the stains (although...what do I care about stains anyway?  THEY ARE DIAPERS!).
• Are they leak proof?  Yes.  Do they leak?  Yes.  It's the same thing as a disposable.  If too much is in it, it'll leak.  Plain and simple.  However, Stephen's poops can somehow defy gravity sometimes.  So if he's wearing a disposable, you can bet it's going all over his back even if he's upright.  When he's wearing his cloth diapers, that never happens.

That being said, I know some people who aren't as happy with their cloth diapers.  So reader be warned.  They are not for everyone.  

But we love them!

Readers: do you use cloth diapers?  Do you love or hate them?  Or, if you are preparing to have a baby, are you thinking about doing cloth diapering?  Share share share!!

Hyperbole

...

Or what I like to call the most entertaining form of communication.

I'm fairly certain that there are a TON of people who would disagree with me on the above statement.

And those people would definitely be in the wrong.

So why do I rely so heavily on hyperbole?

Because it is ENTERTAINING.

Don't believe me?

It's true.  And I find when reading fiction, many great pieces of work rely on it as well.  For instance...

All great romance novels have "heaving bosoms" or "throbbing members".

Sorry if that's too graphic for you.

But isn't that the whole point of hyperbole?  To create a dramatic image to portray the emotion of the moment?

But would you really describe a woman's bosom as heaving?  Heaving, to me, implies that medically, there is something wrong with her.

And that's super dramatic.

Yummm....

I enjoy drama.  Not in my life but in the surrounding qualities.

For instance, I used to LOVE the hit soap opera "Passions".  BIG TIME.  Why?  Because out of all of the soap operas on TV, they REALLY pulled out all the stops.

For instance:

• there was a portal to hell in a closet
• a girl and her half brother had a baby together.  But they didn't know they were related at the time.  But even after they DID know, they still coupled a few times.
• But the the half brother started having a homosexual affair with a guy who was blackmailing everyone in town.
• Theresa offered to be the surrogate for Ethan and Gwen.  But then she tricked Ethan into sleeping with her and got pregnant with his baby.  So she was pregnant with two babies at once!  
• But then she fell down the stairs and it killed Ethan and Gwen's baby.  But her and Ethan's baby survived!
• There was a witch in town and she had a doll that could come alive.  His name was TImmy and his specialty drink was Mar-Timmy's (I always wanted to try one).

Is that enough?  Because I can go on if you'd like.

 

I also prefer dramatic paintings.  "The Scream" is one of my all time faves.  And who doesn't like Van Gogh??

You don't?  We aren't friends anymore.

 

Ask Queenie if you think I'm dramatic for fun.

We talk every day online.  Seriously.  Those few days that we don't, she's likely to receive a text message from me.  And if she doesn't respond to it quick enough, that's ammo for me. 

 

I like to accuse her of cheating on me.  I go on wild tangents about why we can't be friends anymore and I get innappropriate.  That way, when she finally does get to her phone and reads the 10-12 text messages I've left her, I know she's probably going to be laughing when she responds.

No one gets my humor like she does...

 

And now after I've written that, I'm figuring you don't get it either.

This whole post just had a melt down like Kirstie Alley did when her assistants failed her fire drill and didn't get all of her pets out of the house on time.

 

*sigh*

Work space

I have the sneaking suspicion that I need to develop a work space in the apartment.  


I think I've outgrown working on the couch.  After attempting to work on my letter of intent for grad school for two weeks and coming up with crap (seriously, it was dog shit on a page), Eric kicked me out and sent me to the library to work.  


45 minutes later and it was a bronze medal.  No, not gold but I can turn it in and be proud.  I would need about forty hours to devote to it to turn it into gold and I don't have that.

So, maybe I need to carve out a work space in our home.  However, the only two places that I think that is possible is either a) at our unused dining room table (don't tell my mom...she'll be upset to find out we aren't using it) or b) in my closet.  

You think I'm kidding about the closet?  

I'm not.