Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Due date

Seriously, how accurate is a due date?

Today is the original due date we were given for Stephen's arrival.  

By our calculations, he should be due on June 21. 

According to the doctors, he's due on July 2.

I'm seeing my doctor on Thursday and am praying that she adjusts the due date and says that he is coming sooner than July 2. 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

One year ago...

One year ago today, we got married in my hometown surrounded by our family and friends.

We celebrated our first anniversary last night at the Buckhorn Exchange.  If you know what that is, try not to be too jealous.
In honor of our anniversary, I thought I would share our original wedding vows with everyone.

So here they are...

 Eric's Vows:
I struggled to write these vows for a while.  I found it particularly frustrating that something that came so easy to us was so difficult to express in words.  And then I thought about the things other people say when they mention love.  They say, "I love you,"  they show their love, they feel love, they make love.  And then it hit me.  Love is so hard to describe in words because love is best described in action.  Love is not just words on a page.  Love is action.  Love is one perfect moment on the side of a mountain.  Love is a long walk and an even longer conversation.  Love is a special birthday dinner and love is a date with the DVR.  Love is a Sunday morning ritual and love is a left-side pass with a little attitude.  Okay, maybe a lot of attitude.  
So here are my vows to you.  I vow to show love for you through my actions, both big and small.  I vow to say, "I love you" with such conviction and passion that there can be no doubt as to its depth.  I vow to make our love stronger every day, for the rest of our lives.
All of these things and more I will do for you.  Because, that's what love is.  Love is something that you do.

My vows:
I never wanted to marry someone perfect.  Instead, I wanted to marry my best friend, someone who was perfect for me.  And you are.
Over the course of our relationship you have taught me many things; one of the greatest lessons you have taught me is that relationships are about sharing: sharing the blanket on the couch, sharing household responsibilities, sharing the stories of your day and life.  You have someone to share the successes and triumphs of your life no matter how great or little they may be.  But most importantly, you taught me that when it feels like the world is sitting on your shoulders, you have someone to share the burden with you and lighten the load.  Today, it is no longer a "me thing".  Today, and forevermore, it is a "we thing".  
Because of you, I understand the meaning of true friendship and honesty.  Because of you, I have the three greatest things: faith in myself, you and our future; hope for the great things that will come; and a love that surpasses anything I could have imagined.  
I look forward to growing together, not just growing old, but changing and being there to see the people that we will become later in life.  
So today, I promise to be there to listen to you every day, even if it's about the great drive you made on the golf course that day.  I promise to make pancakes for you every Sunday morning.  I promise to respect you, cherish you, appreciate you.  And I promise that every morning for the rest of our lives, I will wake up to thank you for loving me, and that I will love you more than I did the day before.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

True Confessions

There are a lot of symptoms that come with pregnancy.

Nobody gets all of them and some are more common than others.
The women I know that are pregnant or were recently pregnant were most concerned with the weight gain.

"How long will it take to get rid of it?"
"Will I be able to get rid of all of it?"

Honestly, the weight gain doesn't phase me.  Sure, I have my "fat" days when I'm certain I look like a hippo and I stare at pictures of myself from a year ago and wonder if I'll ever be back to my prepregnancy size.  But I really don't stress about it.

Instead, there is one pregnancy symptom that haunts me and worried me to no end.
My voice.

image from here
If you've spoken to me on the phone, you've heard the change.  It cracks like a 13-year old boy's voice and it's dropped several pitches.  I used to be a pretty strong mezzo-soprano and could pick out a couple of soprano pieces on a good day.  Now, I'm fortunate if I can sing three of the correct notes.  And that's IF my voice doesn't suddenly crack.

I always thought I'd sit around and sing to my belly while pregnant but I can't because I'm worried that Stephen will grow up afraid of a cracking bagpipe because on my GOOD days now, that's what I sound like.

So, no, I'm not scared I won't get rid of the pregnancy weight, or of possible stretchmarks, or that my right hand will never have complete feeling in it.

I'm terrified that the decent singing voice that I once had is now completely gone.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Trigger me this...

I may have pinpointed the cause of my "pregnancy" headaches.

I've been thinking lately that there has to be more to these headaches than just hormones gone crazy from the baby that kicks me nonstop (seriously, as I type this I can see his little arms and legs pushing up against my skin).
I once read Sugar Blues (read it...you may not touch sugar ever again...or you'll be like me and avoid it for two weeks and then fall pathetically to the cravings or withdrawals) and I thought about it this week when I was trying to come up with theories of what could be causing the headaches.

Can't be dehydration.  I drink at least 64 ounces of water a day (I'm not exaggerating).
It can't be that I'm consuming nicotine or alcohol...because I'm pregnant.

Definitely not caffeine.  Although I still drink caffeine, I monitor it to almost the milligram and I'm always under the limit.
Then I thought about sugar.


For a woman with PCOS, and who is pregnant, sugar is the most likely culprit.
It was so much easier in the beginning of the pregnancy.

Actually, up until about two months ago, it was really easy.  I really only craved salty things (Wendy's french fries...yummmmm).  And then I cracked and suddenly, the sweets were just too hard to resist.
Now don't go freaking out on me (I can just hear my mom now...gah).  I'm not eating cake for breakfast or anything that dramatic.  I have a couple of pieces of candy (the mini sized ones!) during the day...okay maybe closer to like six a day or something like that.  And sometimes I indulge in a frappucino (one a week if that...decaf).

Maybe, just maybe, that's what is causing the headaches.  If not causing them, perhaps they are making them worse.
My plan was to run an experiment tomorrow and go the whole day with no sweets and see how I feel.
Today, I unintentionally avoided sweets until about four hours ago. 

We were grocery shopping and the Easter candy was on sale.  So, we picked up a couple of the Reese's peanut butter eggs and a couple of Cadbury eggs.
Seriously, i had two.  1 and 2.  That's all.

And about 45 minutes later, the headache set in and hasn't let up.

I'm pregnant!  I should be allowed to eat candy, cakes, brownies, cookies, ice cream, the whole kit and kaboodle if I want to!
But no....damn headaches have to come on.  And then I'm left to decide if I want to take my super drugs from my doc to get rid of it and run the risk of my baby boy developing a third arm (I know...I'm being melodramatic but again, I'm pregnant and I can if I want to).  

Tomorrow, I'm going to run the experiment and I'll report back on how it goes.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Wag of the Wooden Spoon: McGraw Hill

I have a huge crush on Stephen Colbert.
image from here
Le sigh.
Can you blame me?
In honor of my beloved Stephen, whom my unborn son may or may not be named after (okay he's not), I've decided to do a little segment entitled:
Sidenote: try to not be too jealous of my awesome skills in word with clip art and word art...I know...it's badass
Today's Wag of the Spoon goes out to McGraw-Hill.
Yes, I'm referring to the textbook company.
I'm not some crazy grammar nazi freak enthusiast.  I just expect from publishing companies to publish edited works.  And from companies that publish textbooks that are to be used to teach students, regardless of their age or education level, my standards are a little higher.
For instance, I can deal with the fact that Twilight probably doesn't meet all grammatical rules and codes (and for all of the fans out there, please don't ream me because you loved the plot...I'm speaking only of the grammar use in the book which DOES fall short).
What I can't deal with is a textbook publishing company that publishes a textbook RAMPANT with grammatical errors.
That's right, McGraw-Hill.  I'm talking to you.
So a WAG OF THE SPOON goes to you today for your repeated articles (the the the...THE WHAT?!  GET TO THE POINT!), misspelled words (really?  who forgets the "h" in "what"?  I realize it's silent but come on!  Who wrote this?) and your poor punctuation.
Here is the final nail in your coffin, McGraw-Hill:
"Another way of classifying temperament focuses on the differences between a shy, subdued, timid child and a sociable, extraverted, bold child (Asendorph, 2008; Jerome Kagan (2000, 2002, 2007, 2008, 2009) regards shyness with strangers (peers or adults) as one feature of a broad temperament category called inhibition to the unfamiliar."
Read that as many times as you like.  I had to get both Queenie and mi marido to look over it before mi marido figured it out.
Here's the problem:
extraverted, bold child (Asendorph, 2008; Jerome Kagan (2000, 2002, 2007, 2008, 2009) regards shyness
If we replace the semi-colon with a closed parenthesis and place a period after it, the scrambled, nonsensical sentence becomes two, coherent sentences.
Thank you, McGraw-Hill, for not just giving me a headache but also making my eyes cross for an unhealthy period of time.

So that is your WAG OF THE SPOON.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Regressive Movement

I have a bit of a rant today.
In the last week, I have had two different conversations on the topic of feminism.
Here's my stance:
To me, the important issue is equality between men and women.  
Don't read into that or overanalyze it because it's just that simply stated.
In the two discussions I had this past week though, I was introduced to the fact that there are some who take feminism to a whole new level.

Let's go with the one I had five minutes ago.

A dear friend of mine was accused of being a "regressive" female because she likes to cook.


Let me reiterate that in case the absurdity of it was lost in that first statement.

Because this woman likes to cook, she is regressive.  Meaning, she plans on having the house clean, dinner on the table, and a stiff drink in hand for her husband as if she was June Cleaver or just stepped out of Mona Lisa Smile.

What is that about?

So...following this logic, if I like to do any of the things that were once considered a "woman's" job, that makes me regressive.

And if that's the case, what does that say about the men in our lives that enjoy doing the things that were once considered the "woman's" job?

Does that mean that secretly, deep down, they are harboring gay tendencies?  

Look, if I like to cook, it doesn't say anything about my political stance on the females.  If I want to teach my daughter how to bake family recipes that have been passed down, or teach my son to make white chocolate bread pudding like his dad so that he can win a woman's heart one night with a delicious romantic meal, why does that have to say something about my feminist stance?

Cooking is no longer an obligatory role in the home that is one individual's job because of their gender (unless of course a person is part of a more regressive household [sidenote: I use this term "regressive" to just delineate between two different ideas and mean no offense by it...if that works for you and your family, then that works for you! :)]).  

And following this logic, what other hobbies lead to having a "regressive" stance on feminism?  Sewing, gardening, cleaning??  

Fine.  If that's the case, if I'm to be tossed out of the accuser's idea of feminism because I like to cook, hand me my kitchenaid mixer and a wooden spoon.

But they can't have any of my cake.  They can eat the store bought dry shit that lacks flavor because they don't want to "take their place in the kitchen."

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Hello again

I realize it's been a while since I've posted.

And for those of you who have asked, thanks for checking in.
I am okay.

Yes, I'm alive.
Baby Stephen is fine as well.

The third trimester of this pregnancy is starting to kick my butt.

I'm plagued by headaches on an almost weekly basis.  I'm currently working on day four of a headache.
Liam Neeson released The Cracken on my brain.

image from here
mmm...Liam Neeson.

It's possible the headaches are tension/stress related.  We learned that if someone rubs my shoulders, neck and ears, then my headaches go away.

Oh and I get feeling back in my right hand.  Yes, that's another fun aspect of my third trimester.  I can't feel my three middle fingers most of the time.

To be completely honest, I'm disappointed in myself for how lame this blog has become.

It could be the hormones talking as well because let me tell you, those bitches say some crazy things.

I want the blog to be prettier and more fun to actually look at.

I want it to have more posts focused on crafting and food.

I just want it to be better.

But, rationally, I realize that this may be a tall order.  I work full time, I'm super pregnant, I have a husband and a home to take care of, a dog that I swear is a mini-human, and I'm trying to study for my psych final.

So, where does that leave us?  You and I.

Excellent question.

Let me get back to you on that one.

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