However, I found that once I had Stephen, finding "me" time or even making it into a priority was difficult for 2 reasons.
1) There is ALWAYS something that needs to be done. I'm a stay at home mom, a full time grad student, volunteer, blogger, and freelance book reviewer. I'm also a wife. Go back and count that up. That is six titles. SIX. There are 24 hours in the day and at least 7 of those have to go to sleep (preferably without interruption but that's pretty much up to Stephen). I have a lot on my plate and yes, I do realize that most of that is by choice. I don't have to freelance. I don't have to keep this blog. And I don't have to volunteer. Technically, I don't have to go to school either but if I want to have a career, then I sort of have to.
2) I have found that not fulfilling x, y, and z duties under any one of those titles has led me to feel a bit like a failure. I think as moms (and I'm not saying the dudes can't feel this way...just can't speak on behalf of them because I don't know what it's like to be a man) it is very easy for us to get caught up in everything that we have to do. Women, in general, seem to worry and stress more about things to do. And what's worse is the mommy guilt. Oh the guilt! I was talking to a friend of mine the other day that realized she is angry about some things that have happened recently but hasn't processed any of it because she felt guilty about being angry! We try to live up to this June Cleaver view of motherhood and let's face it...it ain't happening.
Just because we aren't June Cleaver doesn't mean that we aren't good moms.
And that's what I've been trying to tell myself.
So what do I do for "me" time? There is really a variety of things on my "me" time list. I can tell you what's not on it.
I used to love to veg out in front of the TV. LOVE IT. I could do it for hours. But now, I find television almost obnoxious. Don't get me wrong. There are a few shows I'm devoted to (Bones anyone?) and I watch them without fail (Zooey Deschanel always makes me laugh on The New Girl). What is it with those Deschanel girls?! They are awesome!
But I can't do it anymore. TV doesn't distract me or relax me anymore. Especially with all the heinous trash that is on the TV now, why bother? And yes, some of it is heinous trash. I'm not judging anyone for watching it but let's call a spade a spade, shall we?
Rather, here's what I have found relaxes me, which lowers my cortisol levels (über important):
- paper crafts
- reading (for fun)
- research (yes...I'm aware that I'm the biggest nerd on the planet)
- working out (although to be honest, there hasn't been enough of this lately)
So, allow me to encourage you to take a little bit of "me" time today. Whether you are a mom, student, dad, employee, CEO, monk, whatever...Take a little bit of time out of your day to just be you and revel in that for a little bit. Lower your cortisol levels and breathe in and out.