When I posted my "Mommy Docket", I pointed out that there is a box on there specifically for "me" time.  To some, having time to yourself seems like a no-brainer.  You need to recharge...reenergize...unwind...decompress...whatever word you want to put in that blank.  

However, I found that once I had Stephen, finding "me" time or even making it into a priority was difficult for 2 reasons.
1) There is ALWAYS something that needs to be done.  I'm a stay at home mom, a full time grad student, volunteer, blogger, and freelance book reviewer.  I'm also a wife.  Go back and count that up.  That is six titles.  SIX.  There are 24 hours in the day and at least 7 of those have to go to sleep (preferably without interruption but that's pretty much up to Stephen).  I have a lot on my plate and yes, I do realize that most of that is by choice.  I don't have to freelance.  I don't have to keep this blog.  And I don't have to volunteer.  Technically, I don't have to go to school either but if I want to have a career, then I sort of have to.  

2) I have found that not fulfilling x, y, and z duties under any one of those titles has led me to feel a bit like a failure.  I think as moms (and I'm not saying the dudes can't feel this way...just can't speak on behalf of them because I don't know what it's like to be a man) it is very easy for us to get caught up in everything that we have to do.  Women, in general, seem to worry and stress more about things to do.  And what's worse is the mommy guilt.  Oh the guilt!  I was talking to a friend of mine the other day that realized she is angry about some things that have happened recently but hasn't processed any of it because she felt guilty about being angry!  We try to live up to this June Cleaver view of motherhood and let's face it...it ain't happening. 

Just because we aren't June Cleaver doesn't mean that we aren't good moms.

And that's what I've been trying to tell myself.  

So what do I do for "me" time?  There is really a variety of things on my "me" time list.  I can tell you what's not on it.  

TV.

I used to love to veg out in front of the TV.  LOVE IT.  I could do it for hours.  But now, I find television almost obnoxious.  Don't get me wrong.  There are a few shows I'm devoted to (Bones anyone?) and I watch them without fail (Zooey Deschanel always makes me laugh on The New Girl).  What is it with those Deschanel girls?!  They are awesome!

Moving on...

But I can't do it anymore.  TV doesn't distract me or relax me anymore.  Especially with all the heinous trash that is on the TV now, why bother?  And yes, some of it is heinous trash.  I'm not judging anyone for watching it but let's call a spade a spade, shall we?

Rather, here's what I have found relaxes me, which lowers my cortisol levels (über important):

• crochet
• painting
• knit
• embroidery
• paper crafts
• calligraphy
• writing
• reading (for fun)
• research (yes...I'm aware that I'm the biggest nerd on the planet)
• meditating/prayer
• yoga
• working out (although to be honest, there hasn't been enough of this lately)

So, allow me to encourage you to take a little bit of "me" time today.  Whether you are a mom, student, dad, employee, CEO, monk, whatever...Take a little bit of time out of your day to just be you and revel in that for a little bit.  Lower your cortisol levels and breathe in and out.

Mommy Docket

Hmm..Maybe Mommy Docket isn't really the best title for the document.

Here's what happened.

Life got super out of control.  Juggling motherhood with a toddler and attempting to take four (that's right FOUR) grad school classes this semester has proven to be just on the other side of the crazy line.  And not the good side of it.  Eric would have simple requests for me to complete during the day time and by noon, I likely had texted or messaged him online saying "What did you ask me to do?" or "I'm sorry.  I forgot what you needed." or "Does this really have to be done today?  Because I'd much rather pull out my hair right now."  The tasks weren't even difficult.  Basic things like: do one load of laundry, unpack this one box of stuff, get dressed.  Whatever.

Fortunately, Pinterest came to the rescue in the middle of the night.  I noticed that a lot of mommy bloggers posted PDF versions of their "Mommy Docket" or "TO-DO TODAY" list.  After trying a few out over the course of a couple of weeks, I decided to make my own that makes sense for me.  Here it is:

I realize you can't really see that too well.  But let me break it down for you so that it hopefully makes some sense.  We'll go left to right, top to bottom.

The top left box is titled "Top Three".  This is where I write the three most important tasks of the day.  Usually, "Homework" is in there.  Why three?  Because I'll be honest, it's a big deal for me to get three things done in a day.  Stephen wants to play outside for about 18 hours a day which is not conducive to getting things done at all.  He also wants me to do every activity with him which is adorable, but again, not conducive to getting things done.  So I have three things on the list.  These can usually be completed during naptime or after he goes to bed at his strict bedtime of 7 pm.  It makes me feel really good when I scratch one off but when I scratch off all three?  Well, bring on the champagne!

The next box (top right) is my "Honey Do" list.  Eric usually has one thing that he'd like for me to do.  It's usually things that I already planned on addressing that day (i.e. laundry) but sometimes, he really needs a load of whites done specifically.  This is where I write those little notes down.  

There is also a box for appointments.  I only have space for four different appointments because time-wise I cannot afford any more in one day.  But we never have that many appointments in one day anyway.

Errands.  That sort of speaks for itself but seriously, sometimes, I cannot remember that I need to go out and buy a gallon of milk even if I've opened the fridge four times that day to find that we don't have any.  


Calls to make list.  This is UBER importante for me.  I can NEVER NEVER remember who I am supposed to call (that explains why I haven't called you right?).  

"Dinner prep" is the box that I write the dinner menu in.  Also, if it's more complicated than protein-rice-salad, I'll add notes to myself like "Begin marinade at 4" so that I can remember to do specific tasks at certain times.  

"All About Me" is a section that is there specifically to remind me to take care of myself.  Honestly, I am TERRIBLE about taking care of myself.  HORRIBLE.  DOWN RIGHT STINKING BAD AT IT.  Add a baby and grad school into the mix and it's a cluster of ... poo.  That's the nice way to say it.  I'm working really hard at correcting this though and part of this endeavor is taking 30 minutes a day for just me.  But there will be a post in the near future to elaborate on this.  

Like the starburst???

Finally, "Weekly Goals" are super important to me.  I find that if I see the larger goals that need to be done by the end of the week, I can remember to work on them little by little.  This can be a big paper for school (which I've recently completely two of) or this can be a project in the house.  It's always different.  Sometimes, the weekly goal is to workout five times in the week.  Who knows?!  

So there you go.  That's my mommy docket/to-do today list.  If you'd like a copy of it, please let me know.  I'll be happy to email you a copy of it.  FOR FREE!  What up!?  

No seriously.  It's not copyrighted or anything like that.  So it's up for grabs.


I'd also like to make a shoutout to Zamzar.com.  I used their service to convert the pdf version of that document into a jpeg.  And it was SUPER fast, SUPER easy.  Just how I like it.  Conversion, that is, you gutterheads.

Precious Sleep

So, have I talked to you guys about the fact that Stephen is not a good sleeper anymore?

No?  

That's unfortunate.  Let's rectify it.

When he first came home, he did the newborn thing waking every couple of hours.  When he was about 6 weeks old, that settled down and he started sleeping for four hours straight at least once a night.  It was glorious.

Those were the good ole days.

For the last month or so, he's gone back to his newborn sleep schedule.  Keep in mind, baby boy will be FOUR MONTHS OLD on November 11.  That's right.  And he's a whopping 18.5 pounds so it's not like there's some kind of eating issue.

We have tried all kinds of things to help him sleep better.

Cluster feedings

Bedtime rituals

Rice cereal

Full tummy before bed

Napping schedule

Warmer Sleepwear

Swaddling

Nothing helps.

Except for one thing.

Sleeping on the couch with me.

So he might get a good stretch of sleep in but I have a super sore body.

I still haven't decided if it's a good deal or not.

Mommy attachment

I never thought I would be "that" mom.  

You know the one.

The mom who can't let other people hold her baby.  The mom who can't stop thinking about her baby while she runs an errand down the street.

"Is he okay?  Did so-and-so feed him yet?  What if he's hungry?  Or bored?  Or tired?"

But I had to face it recently.

Stephen isn't sleeping very well.  He wakes up every couple of hours at night.  Not always because he's hungry.  Sometimes he just wants to be cuddled.  Of course, everyone recommended giving him cereal before bed to help him sleep through the night.  

I didn't think it would be a big deal.  And rationally, I know it's not.

But the first time I was preparing his bottle with breastmilk and cereal, my heart started dropping.  I realized that we weren't going to have "our time" for this meal.  Of course, at this point, my mind went into warped speed and I was seeing him eating solids, going off to school, etc.  It was ridiculous.  Like this one event meant that he was no longer going to need me.

Honestly, I cried.

That's right.  I cried about it.

What the hell?!

Motherhood has made me crazy.