Monday, October 24, 2011


Or what I like to call the most entertaining form of communication.

I'm fairly certain that there are a TON of people who would disagree with me on the above statement.

And those people would definitely be in the wrong.

So why do I rely so heavily on hyperbole?

Because it is ENTERTAINING.

Don't believe me?

It's true.  And I find when reading fiction, many great pieces of work rely on it as well.  For instance...

All great romance novels have "heaving bosoms" or "throbbing members".

Sorry if that's too graphic for you.

But isn't that the whole point of hyperbole?  To create a dramatic image to portray the emotion of the moment?

But would you really describe a woman's bosom as heaving?  Heaving, to me, implies that medically, there is something wrong with her.

And that's super dramatic.


I enjoy drama.  Not in my life but in the surrounding qualities.

For instance, I used to LOVE the hit soap opera "Passions".  BIG TIME.  Why?  Because out of all of the soap operas on TV, they REALLY pulled out all the stops.

For instance:
  • there was a portal to hell in a closet
  • a girl and her half brother had a baby together.  But they didn't know they were related at the time.  But even after they DID know, they still coupled a few times.
  • But the the half brother started having a homosexual affair with a guy who was blackmailing everyone in town.
  • Theresa offered to be the surrogate for Ethan and Gwen.  But then she tricked Ethan into sleeping with her and got pregnant with his baby.  So she was pregnant with two babies at once!  
  • But then she fell down the stairs and it killed Ethan and Gwen's baby.  But her and Ethan's baby survived!
  • There was a witch in town and she had a doll that could come alive.  His name was TImmy and his specialty drink was Mar-Timmy's (I always wanted to try one).
Is that enough?  Because I can go on if you'd like.
I also prefer dramatic paintings.  "The Scream" is one of my all time faves.  And who doesn't like Van Gogh??
You don't?  We aren't friends anymore.
Ask Queenie if you think I'm dramatic for fun.
We talk every day online.  Seriously.  Those few days that we don't, she's likely to receive a text message from me.  And if she doesn't respond to it quick enough, that's ammo for me. 
I like to accuse her of cheating on me.  I go on wild tangents about why we can't be friends anymore and I get innappropriate.  That way, when she finally does get to her phone and reads the 10-12 text messages I've left her, I know she's probably going to be laughing when she responds.
No one gets my humor like she does...
And now after I've written that, I'm figuring you don't get it either.
This whole post just had a melt down like Kirstie Alley did when her assistants failed her fire drill and didn't get all of her pets out of the house on time.

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