Thursday, September 29, 2011

Mommy attachment

I never thought I would be "that" mom.  

You know the one.
The mom who can't let other people hold her baby.  The mom who can't stop thinking about her baby while she runs an errand down the street.

"Is he okay?  Did so-and-so feed him yet?  What if he's hungry?  Or bored?  Or tired?"

But I had to face it recently.

Stephen isn't sleeping very well.  He wakes up every couple of hours at night.  Not always because he's hungry.  Sometimes he just wants to be cuddled.  Of course, everyone recommended giving him cereal before bed to help him sleep through the night.  

I didn't think it would be a big deal.  And rationally, I know it's not.

But the first time I was preparing his bottle with breastmilk and cereal, my heart started dropping.  I realized that we weren't going to have "our time" for this meal.  Of course, at this point, my mind went into warped speed and I was seeing him eating solids, going off to school, etc.  It was ridiculous.  Like this one event meant that he was no longer going to need me.

Honestly, I cried.

That's right.  I cried about it.

What the hell?!

Motherhood has made me crazy.

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