Monday, August 29, 2011

The Overwhelming Job Search

For those of you unaware, I'm on the job market again.  

Everyone keeps telling me to find a job that I'm passionate about.  Do something that I really want to do.  And I agree; I think that is probably really important because now, when I go back to work, I'll be sacrificing my time with Stephen.

I never really saw myself as being a stay at home mom.  My mom worked when we were kids and for the longest time, I had these really "big" dreams for my life.  But they were unrealistic.  Please don't get the wrong impression; it's not that I've given up on my dreams.  They've just changed over time as I've changed.  For instance, I don't dream of being famous.  In fact, I fear the public eye now because, as like everyone else, I have skeletons in my closet that I really would rather not have splashed across some gossip magazine.  That dream has been replaced by the dream of owning our own house and getting to decorate each room the way I want to.  I dream of continuing our simple life that is drama free.  

When I dream of things now, it's not about my career.  It's about my life with Eric, Stephen and Kaya.  It's projects that I want to get done at home, things that I want to teach Stephen, hikes that I want to go on, trips I want to take with the boys, etc.  

I'm not terribly surprised by this.  I've spent years keeping family and friends guessing as to what major or career path I was going to take.  I changed my major more than five times in college.  I'm fairly certain that the University's administration hated me because I kept going in and switching.  

So, it occurs to me that the best career for me at this juncture is described as follows:
  • at home: so that I can stay with Stephen and be the one who is there for his first steps, his first words, his first everything and not a daycare or nanny
  • research: I love being able to learn; if I could make a career out of learning and being in college, I'd do it and be the best at it.
  • writing: because I really like my opinion and don't have a problem sharing it.  Plus, I'm told my writing is entertaining, which I agree with but I think me saying that is a little unnecessary.
  • crafts/art: I like working with my hands.  Nuff said.
  • food: I'm not going to bother explaining this because I assume if you are reading this, you've read previous posts which were likely about food.
It's with a heavy heart and a heavy mind that I look for a job now.  I've had so much fun watching Stephen grow in the last 7 weeks.  I've enjoyed having time to do some crafts and some art (as soon as I finish the piece I'm working on, I'll post photos of it).  I've enjoyed having time to get to know other mommies with babies.  

Who knows?  Maybe I'll stumble across a job that meets most or all of the above criteria.  I'll cross my fingers but won't hold my breath.

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