Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Red: Review (no spoilers)

dun dun dun

First off, there are many reasons why we love Cinnebarre, the theater about two miles from our apartment; here are the top two:
1) $5 movies Monday through Thursday. Again, that's FIVE DOLLAR movies.  Right.
2) Alcohol and food.  And not just any ole alcohol like your run of the mill beer.  Not for this snazzy lady.  I love to sip my Chateau St. Michelle Riesling while enjoying the latest cinematic event. 
But I'm not here to review Cinnebarre.
Last night, for funsies, we decided to see the movie Red.  Now, in all honesty, I wasn't really amped up to see this movie because I was certain it was going to be just another shoot em up movie that has little to no plot.  I really love a good plot (even one as zany as Burn After Reading which is misunderstood by some and unappreciated by most).  So let's bring everyone up to speed about this film.
Main Characters/Actors:
Francis/Frank: played by Bruce Willis
Sarah: played by Mary-Louise Parker
William Cooper: played by Karl Urban
Joe: played by Morgan Freeman
Marvin: played by John Malkovich
Ivan: played by Brian Cox
Victoria: played by Helen Mirren

I'm going to stick with these folks.  Richard Dreyfus is also in this movie and he plays a psycho asshole very well.  That's about all I'm going to say because I don't want to ruin it.

Quick plot breakdown (don't worry, there are no spoilers here).  
Frank is a retired CIA agent who has an over-the-phone friendship with Sarah, who works for the pension office.  After an attempt is made on Frank's life, he and Sarah go on the lamb to find out exactly who is trying to have him killed and why.  He gets his gang together of old CIA buddies and they try to help him figure out what's going on before...dun dun dun...it's too late.

and that's all you get because you should really see this movie.

So here are the reasons why I LOVED this movie:
  1. Let's talk about the cast first off because the casting can always make or break a movie (except for movies like Bug and Birth...great casting....TERRIBLE movies...amazing that you can go wrong with people with Ashley Judd and Harry Connick Jr...although the fact that Harry was topless 75% of the time should have been a big tip off but I digress).  In Red, we, needless to say, have an all-star cast.  Bruce Willis is always a good choice because the men love him for his fighting ability and have for the last 800 years and the ladies love him because there's a softer side, he has a knee-buckling smile, and the man just looks good.  Mary-Louise Parker is always great at playing a kind run-of-the-mill broad and her character in this movie is somewhat similar to her character in the hit TV show "Weeds" (without all the drug dealing and the kids and the weird brother in law who is always getting into trouble...digression again).  Morgan Freeman...he could talk a dead man back to life.  I don't know what it is about his voice but it's like a cello solo in a symphony at Carnegie hall.  Besides, he is REALLY good at playing a bad ass as well.  John Malkovich...there is something about this man that makes me laugh.  And I mean, side splitting, I can't get any air, I'm not even making noise hysterical laughter.  Especially when he drops an F-bomb (which he doesn't say once during this movie)...I have no rational explanation for that at all.  He plays his character flawlessly and it made me love him even more.  Especially when he brought out piggy.  Wanna know what that is?  GO SEE IT.  Dame Helen Mirren.  First off, I want to be Helen Mirren in 40 years.  Seriously.  She has taken such good care of herself or has super power genes or something.  She's sporting the blonde/silverish hair in this film and she looks DYNOMITE.  And who knew that she could play a CIA Badass turned Martha Stewart so well?!  BRILLIANT!  And of course the rest of the cast is great.  Sorry, but those were the only people I wanted to mention.  JOHN MALKOVICH RULES!!! WHOOOOOO 
Alright now that I have that out of my system...Moving on...
  • Plot of course is super important as well.  This plot is beautifully well written.  You get everything you could want: a little bit of humor, action, romance, suspense, there's a twist at the end, good CGI, etc.  I don't have any complaints about the plot and loved that I was riveted by this movie.
 Seriously, it was an amazing movie and I'm having a REALLY hard time not telling you all of the details about the movie because I've been warned NOT TO SPOIL THE MOVIE.  SO FINE!

My one complaint (and this doesn't spoil anything).  In the first ten minutes of the movie, there is a scene where the camera pans across the street as Frank is standing in his driveway.  All the way across the street and back in a circular motion.  I get the point of this type of filming but good grief, this was one of the worst filming sequences that I've seen in a while (I am reminded of the Dawn of the Dead remake).  Seriously, I kept lifting my glasses to see if the blurriness or the oh-my-gosh-we're-spinning effect was caused by my weakening eyes or wearing glasses to the movies; to my relief, Eric leaned over and said "Think they could've done a better job with that filming?"  To which I let out the air I was holding in my lungs from fear that my eyes were getting worse.  But then I thought about it.  They had to have spent a TON of money on this movie.  Seriously.  A TON.  How did that pan around the street get missed?  "Oh don't worry about it, Frank.  It's really not that bad."  Believe me, you could have spent the extra thousands to fix that sequence.  It hurt to watch it.

So...long story short.  Go see the movie!

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