Sunday, May 15, 2011

True Confessions

There are a lot of symptoms that come with pregnancy.

Nobody gets all of them and some are more common than others.
The women I know that are pregnant or were recently pregnant were most concerned with the weight gain.

"How long will it take to get rid of it?"
"Will I be able to get rid of all of it?"

Honestly, the weight gain doesn't phase me.  Sure, I have my "fat" days when I'm certain I look like a hippo and I stare at pictures of myself from a year ago and wonder if I'll ever be back to my prepregnancy size.  But I really don't stress about it.

Instead, there is one pregnancy symptom that haunts me and worried me to no end.
My voice.

image from here
If you've spoken to me on the phone, you've heard the change.  It cracks like a 13-year old boy's voice and it's dropped several pitches.  I used to be a pretty strong mezzo-soprano and could pick out a couple of soprano pieces on a good day.  Now, I'm fortunate if I can sing three of the correct notes.  And that's IF my voice doesn't suddenly crack.

I always thought I'd sit around and sing to my belly while pregnant but I can't because I'm worried that Stephen will grow up afraid of a cracking bagpipe because on my GOOD days now, that's what I sound like.

So, no, I'm not scared I won't get rid of the pregnancy weight, or of possible stretchmarks, or that my right hand will never have complete feeling in it.

I'm terrified that the decent singing voice that I once had is now completely gone.

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